There are moments at work when your throat tightens before you speak. It could be in a boardroom, while giving feedback, or when you have to say something that you know will invite disagreement. I’ve had those moments too. The ones where your heart beats a little faster, your palms feel warm, and your mind quietly whispers, Are you sure you want to say this?
For the longest time, I believed that good leaders speak only when they are completely confident. That clarity and courage arrive together. But leadership is rarely that neat. Many times, your voice will tremble before your conviction settles in. And that doesn’t make it any less important.
In fact, it might matter more in that exact moment.
Where does the shaking come from?
Most of us aren’t afraid of speaking; we’re so scared of the consequences of speaking. We fear judgment.
We fear being misunderstood. We fear creating discomfort. We fear saying something that exposes our doubts, concerns, or vulnerabilities, especially in professional settings where everyone strives to maintain an illusion of composure.
But here’s something I’ve learnt over the years. The body reacts before the mind sorts itself out.
A difficult conversation triggers the same biological cues you feel before a conflict or confrontation. The rush of adrenaline, the tightening of your breath, the urge to stay silent so you don’t “create a scene.” It’s not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign that what you’re about to say matters to you. Your voice shakes because your truth is stepping out before your fear has had time to catch up.
Say it anyway
There is a version of you that stays quiet. That version always walks away thinking, I could have spoken, or I should have said something. And then there is the version of you, the truer one, that speaks even when your voice is unsure. That is the version that grows. Speaking up is not about volume. It’s not about winning. It’s not about sounding powerful. It’s about choosing honesty over discomfort, clarity over confusion, and courage over convenience.
I’ve seen this in the workplace more often than I can count. A junior teammate hesitates to point out a flaw in a project plan. A founder is unsure about voicing a concern to an investor. A manager struggling to give honest feedback to someone they value. In each case, silence would have been easier. But progress seldom comes from ease. It comes from expression, even if that expression is imperfect, shaky, or fragile.
The real cost of silence
Most people talk about the consequences of speaking. However, few discuss the consequences of not speaking. When you silence yourself repeatedly:
- Your resentment grows quietly
- Misunderstandings pile up
- Decisions move forward without your truth in them
- You slowly start believing that your perspective doesn’t carry weight.
You shrink a little each time. The shrinking is far more damaging than a moment of awkwardness or a trembling sentence. Your voice, even in its most unpolished form, is a part of the collective intelligence of your team, your family, your circle. When you withdraw it, you take something important away from the room.
Your shaky voice is still brave
Courage isn’t the absence of fear. It is speaking while fear sits right beside you. Think about the last time you spoke up even though you were scared. The discomfort lasted only a few minutes.
But the relief and the sense of alignment stayed much longer.
Your voice carries weight because it comes from your lived experiences, your instincts, and your values. And those don’t disappear simply because your vocal cords shake for a moment. A shaky voice is still an honest voice. An honest voice is still a powerful one.
How to speak when it feels uncomfortable
Speaking up doesn’t need grand gestures. It just needs intention. Here is what has helped many leaders and me find our voice when it feels uncertain.
1. Start with the truth, not with perfection
You don’t have to craft the perfect sentence. Start simple: “I want to share something I’m thinking about.” “I might fumble, but this is important to say.” “I’m still processing, but here’s what I feel right now.”
These small openings make space for courage.
2. Label the feeling, not just the point
Sometimes saying, “I’m a little nervous saying this,” removes half the fear. It disarms the tension for you and for others.
3. Anchor yourself in why you’re speaking
Are you trying to bring clarity? Protect a boundary? Improve a decision? Give honest feedback? Once you remember the “why,” the “how” becomes easier.
4. Accept that shakiness is temporary
Just like the 90-second emotional wave we talked about earlier, the physical symptoms of nervousness pass. Your voice will steady itself once the truth leaves your mouth.
5. Remember: you’re contributing, not confronting
Most people assume speaking up equals conflict. But often, it equals alignment. When you speak, you add missing information that helps everyone move better together.
A moment from my own journey
I remember a conversation early in my career when I had to disagree with a senior leader. It wasn’t a dramatic scenario, just a simple strategy discussion where my perspective didn’t align with his. My voice shook. I felt my palms heat up. I paused twice because I couldn’t get the sentence out smoothly.
But I said it. Gently. Clearly. Honestly. And something interesting happened. He didn’t get offended. He didn’t question my competence. He simply listened. Asked one clarifying question and said, “I’m glad you brought that up.”
People respond more to your sincerity than to your fluency. That day didn’t make me fearless. But it made me braver.
Your turn
If you’re reading this and thinking of a moment where you stayed silent, that is your starting point. The next time you feel your throat tighten, or your words hesitate, pause and remind yourself: Your voice matters.
Not because it is perfect or strong, but because it belongs to you.
Say the sentence. Ask the question. Share the doubt. Offer the perspective. Protect the boundary. Even if your voice shakes. Especially if it shakes.
Because that tiny courage, that one honest moment might just change the direction of a meeting, a relationship, a decision, or even the path you take next.
Here’s to speaking up, growing into your courage, and honouring your voice in its rawest, realist form, one shaky sentence at a time.
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